


Days like this

by nevercatchfeelings_youwilldie



Series: Bucky's bladder problems Or How Bucky and Steve discover a new side of themselves [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Actual Angel Bucky Barnes, Age Play, Depression, Diapers, Fluff, Food, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, SO, Showers, Soft Stucky, also steve doesn't see himself as a child in this he just wants bucky to take care of him, but - Freeform, in form of, listen guys, soft steve rogers, sorry rupi kaur for using your poetry in an age play fic, there will be age play and in further parts of the series there will be smut, they will only happen seperately from each other, they're not really there yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 07:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12700629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevercatchfeelings_youwilldie/pseuds/nevercatchfeelings_youwilldie
Summary: When has Bucky ever judged him for anything he liked, or laughed at him for telling him how he felt? He had never done that.But then again, this was different. This was not him telling Bucky he loved him or that he wanted to sleep with him or even that he wanted Bucky to choke him and call him daddy or do whatever else these kids seem to be into these days, this was… not at all what a grown up man should ever be thinking about.He had no idea how Bucky would react to that





	Days like this

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, thank you for stopping by again!
> 
> So, this is part 3 of my series and it probably makes more sense if you already read the other fics in the series but if you're only here for some really soft beginnings of age play (although like i already said, steve doesn't really see himself as a child but wants Bucky to take care of him by diapering him), you might just get lucky!
> 
> If you find anything triggering that i haven't tagged yet, please do let me know.
> 
> Otherwise, I hope you enjoy and as usual, none of the original characters and plots that inspired me, belong to me!

_“I need someone_

_who knows struggle_

_as well as I do_

_someone_

_willing to hold my feet in their lap_

_on days it is too difficult to stand_

_the type of person who gives_

_exactly what I need_

_before I even know I need it_

_the type of lover who hears me_

_even when I do not speak_

_is the type of understanding_

_I demand"_

-the type of lover I need (rupi kaur) 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

There were good days and there were bad days. 

There were days when it was almost easy to get out of bed in the morning, to look at the bright side of life and to find meaning in everything. 

There were days when not even the coffee in the morning would be able to make him feel like a living being, when he just wanted to sit around on the couch all day, preferably talking to no one, his head pounding with too many unhappy thoughts. 

Bucky grew familiar with both kind of days, over time. 

But then there were the really, really bad days. 

The ones that made it practically impossible to get out of bed. The one’s on which the sun was always shining too bright, even when it was raining, but every kind of light was painful to your eyes. The ones where there was not a single happy thought to be found in your mind, when you felt like you’re going to drown in all the sadness, pain and guilt you’ve collected over the years. When the food tasted like nothing, when every kind of sound was too much, when the tears just wouldn’t stop coming and you’re not even able to express what was actually torturing you. 

Bucky knew these days, too. He doubted he would ever grow familiar with them.

And while it was barely possible for him to experience them on himself without feeling like this is the end and things will never get better, seeing Steve feel that way was just so much worse.

Luckily enough, they rarely ever have bad days (or really, really bad days) at the same time, and the good ones outweighed the bad ones, if even just by a bit. And yet, whenever Steve had one of _those_ days, no matter how often Bucky has experienced it by now, it would always make his heart ache.

He wished there was anything he could really do. Not just to remind Steve to take his meds, to bring him breakfast to bed, even though he knew Steve wouldn’t eat anyway, or to wash his hair when Steve didn’t feel fit enough to do that himself, no. What Bucky wished for was to actually something about it, to find a way to make all the pain and sorrow go away, to ease up the look of misery on his lover’s face, to make the tears stop coming for longer than just a few minutes when they were cuddling.

For some reason, all of that seemed to relieve some of his own aching, when Steve was doing it for him. And he couldn’t give it back. 

It pretty much killed Bucky to basically be there just to watch, unable to help the man that has always helped him.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve woke up, sensing immediately that today wouldn’t be a good day. He also knew it wouldn’t be just a bad day, either.

The way he was feeling he was convinced, from the first second on, that this was going to be a really, really bad day.

He was awake, but he didn’t want to open his eyes yet. Even that seemed like too much trouble to him.

Next to him, he could hear Bucky breathing evenly. With all his heart, Steve hoped that Bucky wouldn’t feel like he did when he woke up. He wished, Bucky would never have to feel that way ever again.

Steve sighed, and for a minute he wanted to change position and lay on his back, because he had stayed on one side, facing the other man, the whole night and it was starting to get uncomfortable by now, but no, too much effort.

Besides, like this he was able to actually _feel_ Bucky breathing into his direction, and even though it had little to no effect on his condition, it still was kind of soothing.

To know that the other was still there, even after all the really, really bad days they got through already.

Steve would always prefer a really, really bad day over another hour of not knowing where Bucky was, or worse, knowing he was somewhere where people treated him badly and he couldn’t protect him.

After staying like this for a few minutes, Steve eventually opened his eyes.

It was still dark in their room. The heavy curtains in front of the window were closed, and so where the jalousies. The only light that came in was coming through the thin gap from underneath their bedroom door.

Steve watched Bucky sleeping. It was good to see him relaxed, not having a nightmare or jerking and moving around in his sleep as if he was unconsciously not allowing himself to close his eyes and lose control over the situation for a few hours.

Bucky was breathing slowly and deeply.

Steve hated himself for this, but the awful feeling of loneliness that was raging inside his chest, even though his partner was laying right next to him, seemed to devour him, and reluctantly, Steve reached out to gently brush one finger over the exposed length of Bucky’s right forearm.

He watched as the other man’s nose wrinkled lightly, before he eventually began to stir, a sure sign that he was slowly exiting whatever dream he was having. Bucky’s skin was so sensitive, Steve knew it wouldn’t take more than that to wake him up.

He felt terrible for doing so.

Bucky opened his eyes, after blinking a few times, as if his eyes needed some practice before being able to actually stay open.

Then, he turned his head to the right and looked at Steve, who was already looking at him.

“Good morning.”, he said in a raspy voice, smiling softly at the other man.

Steve opened his mouth to answer, but soon found that he couldn’t bring any words out.

Embarrassed about feeling so weak and useless, he closed his mouth again and turned his head down when he felt tears shooting into his eyes.

“Hey, hey, Stevie.”, Bucky said and reached out to take hold of his wrist gently. His voice was still marked by sleepiness. “Bad dream?”, he asked, and after a second, Steve shook his head lightly, screwing his eyes shut.

Bucky changed position, so he was able to reach out with his metal arm and gently stroke the hair above Steve’s ear that wasn’t pressed into a pillow. His touch was light as a feather, and his fingertips slowly followed the line of Steve’s neck, who shuddered at the touch.

“That kind of a day, huh?”, Bucky asked softly, and Steve could hear the compassion and understanding in his voice.

As good as it was to know that Bucky was there and he wouldn’t judge him, it only made his urge to cry that much worse.

Unable to supress a sob, he curled into himself further, wrapping his arms around his knees underneath the blanket.

Bucky robbed over, to lay closer to Steve.

He placed his arms around the other man as comfortable as he could with the less than ideal position in which they were laying in, and rested his chin on top of Steve’s head, his left arm finding its way underneath Steve’s blanket so he was able to stroke the other’s back, feeling the heat of his skin through the shirt he was wearing.

Eventually, Steve loosened up enough to give into the touch and press his face against Bucky’s chest, his wet skin dampening the fabric of Bucky’s clothing.

“Shhh”, Bucky said softly and kissed Steve on the top of his head. Steve sobbed again.

“It’s okay, you’re okay. It’s going to be fine, I’m here, it’s okay.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

The day went on slowly. Neither of them had it in them to speed anything up.

They stayed like this for over an hour, curled around each other in bed with Steve’s tears soaking into Bucky’s shirt, Bucky’s hands gently stroking every piece of Steve they could reach, murmuring sweet nothings into his boyfriend’s ear, telling him how much he loved him, that he was safe and forgiven, until he was all cried out.

After that, Bucky manoeuvred them both into the bathroom. He took Steve by the hand and made him sit down on the edge of the tub, first getting rid of his own sweatpants, shirt and the unused nappy he got used to wearing precautionary in case of an unexpected loss of control due to a bad dream or else anything stress-related.

Then, he gestured Steve to stand up, and carefully took off the other man‘s clothes, pressing soft little kisses into the crook of Steve’s neck, where he knew the other man was more than just a bit ticklish, until he eventually heard him giggle almost inaudibly, raising his shoulder involuntarily to protect himself from getting tickled further.

Bucky let Steve’s clothes fall to the floor and offered him a hand when he was stepping out of the pile that has built between his feet.

Instead of just taking the hand, Steve got even closer, hesitantly bowing his head down to rest his forehead against Bucky’s shoulder, hands loose on the other man’s waist, waiting for him to pull him closer, which he did after a second.

So they stood there, naked and in each other’s arms, just listening to each other’s breathing until they began to feel cold and Bucky gently dissolved their hug to lead Steve into the shower.

He first washed Steve’s hair, then his own. He rubbed the other man’s back, taking his time with that, until he felt Steve’s tensed muscles relaxing at least a tiny bit. He carefully washed Steve’s whole body before quickly repeating that on himself, and then he just watched as Steve leaned back against the wall and simply let the water fall onto him for what surely had been 15 minutes.

Bucky didn’t mind waiting. He knew that this helped Steve relax somewhat, and he was grateful for every tiny piece of comfort he could offer, actively or not.

Eventually, Steve sighed and blindly grabbed behind himself to reach for the faucet, and when he didn’t find it, Bucky turned it off instead.

He dried Steve off and wrapped him into one of their softest towels he was able to find, and rubbed his hair dry with another one.

When he saw that Steve’s eyes were following his hand’s every movement, as if he was in trance, Bucky used one towel-clothed finger and gently poked him on the tip of the nose.

Steve looked at him in confusion for a second, and Bucky was suddenly worried that he had overstepped some line with this, but then a tiny grin evolved on Steve’s face, and he turned his eyes down as if he was feeling shy of Bucky seeing him enjoying this gesture.

The sight made Bucky’s heart ache both with the sweetness of Steve’s reaction and his apparent urge to hide said reaction for whatever reason, he couldn’t help himself but take the other man’s face into both his hands and press a soft kiss against his forehead.

Again, as if he couldn’t help giving in to every bit of touch he got, Steve stepped a bit forward and buried his face in Bucky’s neck, where his skin was still wet because he didn’t towel himself off yet, and stayed like this for a minute or two while Bucky used the towel in his hand to repeatedly stroke down Steve’s back with it.

Afterwards, Bucky made breakfast, nothing fancy, only scrambled eggs, and even got Steve to eat a few bites, although not without a lot of encouragement and waiting.

He knew that on days like this, Steve’s appetite was close to 0, but he also was very well aware of his boyfriend’s (and his own) fast metabolism and wanted Steve to at least have a bit of food in his stomach.

Once they were done, they lied down on the couch, with Bucky resting against the cushion and Steve settling down between his legs with his back pressed against Bucky’s chest.

He let his head fall back and sighed softly when Bucky started running the fingers of one hand through his hair, massaging his scalp carefully while doing so.

In the background, they both heard the TV talking about some fantastic new tabs you could throw into the washing machine in order to make it live forever, but they were both only focused on each other.

“I love you.”, Bucky murmured against Steve’s head, and Steve closed his eyes and eventually allowed himself to fully melt into the other man’s embrace.

After a few minutes, he fell into an uneasy sleep.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Steve woke up, he didn’t feel any better than before.

His head was aching lightly from the unusual nap it wasn’t used to, and his eyelids felt too heavy to for him to open them for another few minutes.

He must’ve slept with his mouth open, because his throat was feeling dry and sore, and he had to swallow a few times to make the feeling go away somewhat.

Steve could feel Bucky’s heartbeat against his back, and from the other man’s slow breathing, he assumed that he had fallen asleep as well.

He turned his head and yes, Bucky’s eyes were closed and his head had tipped back to rest against the cushion, the hand that he used to stroke through Steve’s hair was now wrapped loosely around his waist.

Steve was so grateful for Bucky.

Sure, they had talked about the really, really bad days and how it was okay to be difficult and egoistic on those days, but Steve was aware that it was far from self-evident that your boyfriend would take care of you and your moods all day long, without ever complaining or making you feel bad about yourself when you really couldn’t help feeling the way you did.

Obviously, he always returned the favour for Bucky when he had one of those days, very gladly and with a lot of patience because it was _Bucky_ , and he would never run out of patience and affection for him, and yet he never took it for granted.

Back when they were younger and Steve was always sick and on the edge of dying, Bucky used to take care of him regularly. He even moved in for days at a time, before they eventually decided to move in together for good, in order to always be there if Steve needed help.

And, as selfish as that was, sometimes Steve caught himself missing those times.

As much as he used to hate his small body, and as much as he loved being healthy and stronger now, and finally able to help others instead of being the one that needed help constantly, he sometimes missed being small. Being able to curl against Bucky’s side and practically disappearing in the other man’s arm, getting picked up with ease when he was too weak to walk to the bathroom alone, always being able to rest his head on Bucky’s collarbone without having to nearly pull several muscles in order to get into said desired position…

Yes, sometimes he missed this. Today, he did.

Because, while Bucky was taking care of him and Steve was incredibly grateful for that, he was still feeling so _huge_ , so much more of a burden, so uncomfortable to wrap arms around, so much too heavy to just get picked up, even though Bucky could still do that. Just, not with ease anymore. 

And Steve didn’t want to be burden.

Involuntarily, his mind wandered back to the day of their drive to Bucky’s niece’s house.

Steve had forbidden himself more than once to think back to that day, because his memories where scaring him. Not because he had wet himself in a car with Bucky next to him, both of them hard in their used diapers of which they got rid of at the next gas station, taking care of their erections alone in the shower in Lauren’s guest bathroom after dinner when she talked them into staying overnight because having sex with each other was still a difficult subject and they didn’t get the chance to discuss it that night, no. That was just an uncomfortable situation, but he didn’t have to feel too embarrassed or humiliated because Bucky was with him and Bucky always understands and comforted him when he needed it, and Steve was able to get over that mortifying loss of control in the middle of a traffic jam rather quickly.

No, what actually made Steve worry was the way he felt when Bucky put that diaper on him, because he himself had no experience with that and was hopelessly overwhelmed.

It frightened him just how safe and loved he felt in that moment. The way Bucky was carefully applying the powder, positioned his privates with warm hands for him to be comfortable, but without wanting that gesture to lead them anywhere, how he was smiling down at Steve while he was laying on his back, naked and exposed in more ways than just physically… it was one of the most intense sensations Steve has ever felt in his life. He felt as if in that moment, when Bucky closed the tapes and patted Steve’s knee gently while looking at him with those kind, warm eyes, they couldn’t possibly get any closer.

He couldn’t possibly feel more safe. Bucky couldn’t possibly take care of him more lovingly and gentle than that. He couldn’t possibly trust and love anyone more than that, ever.

Steve wished he could feel like that again.

But how was he supposed to let Bucky know that without sounding like a creep?

How is one supposed to ask his boyfriend to diaper him, to take care of him in the most intimate and softest of ways, to make him feel little and safe by doing so without sounding like a maniac? Especially in regard of Bucky’s own diaper-situation, where he needed to wear them because all the torture and cryostatis messed up his continence, where he regularly wet the bed because he was having a nightmare or loses control in the middle of the day because his brain just couldn’t send the right kind of signals into the right body parts anymore?

Right now, Steve felt like a monster for ever even thinking about asking for that treatment again.

And yet, even though he was trying his hardest to push the thought out of his head, he was not able to completely ban this desire from his bones. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They’ve spent the rest of the day in relative quiet.

Bucky was reading for an hour or two, until Sam called and he got up to answer the call in the kitchen, as if he didn’t want to disturb Steve who was looking at the TV without actually watching. He was too far caught up in his thoughts. When Bucky returned, he simply sat down next to Steve again and resumed his previous doing.

Eventually, Bucky ordered pizza, which they ate next to each other in silence while some show Steve didn’t even remember the name of anymore played on TV.

The whole day, Steve had seemed to unconsciously try and be as close as possible to Bucky, who didn’t seem to mind.

On the contrary, he answered every of Steve’s attempts at pressing himself against his side by embracing him, kissing him onto several spots on his face or telling him again and again that he loved him.

When it was time for bed, Steve was already lying on his side under the heavy blankets, watching Bucky as he was expertly putting himself in another diaper, doing so quickly and without trouble. After all, he had plenty of practice by now.

In the beginning, Bucky was terribly embarrassed to wear those things around Steve, and needed an extra 10 minutes every evening just to find the courage to step out of the bathroom and into their bed, after spending the first few weeks on the couch no matter how often Steve told him that it doesn’t bother him at all and that he would like Bucky to sleep next to him.

By now, Bucky didn’t even close the door anymore when he diapered himself. It became a habit, really, no matter how little he liked doing it.

‘Now or never’, Steve thought, his internal discussion from earlier not forgotten. ‘Now you could ask him’.

Steve has already opened his mouth to say something, but all of a sudden he seemed to have forgotten how to use his words. And why was he suddenly sweating?

Bucky chose exactly that moment to switch off the bathroom light and step into the bedroom, looking at Steve. A look of worry appeared on his face at the sight of Steve lying there, probably looking pretty bewildered and overwhelmed.

“Hey, you alright?”, Bucky asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed, placing his right hand on Steve’s blanket-covered hip.

Steve just blinked at him a few times, before he eventually managed to close his mouth again, quickly rolling over to his other side because the shame he was feeling for his almost-made request suddenly seemed to devour him and he couldn’t bear to look at his boyfriend’s concerned face anymore, who had no idea what was going on in Steve’s sick mind.

“Steve!”, Bucky said, openly surprised by Steve’s reaction, and definitely even more worried than before. “Hey, don’t do that, talk to me.”, he said, and wanted to reach out to touch Steve’s shoulder to guide him into his previous position, but then thought better of it. The way Steve was behaving, he wasn’t sure he was allowed to touch right now.

“Stevie…”, he tried again, softer this time.

Steve sighed. “I’m fine.”, he managed to say, not sounding convincing at all, even to himself.

“Yeah, right.”, Bucky scoffed. “What’s going on? Do you-… do you want me to leave?”

Now that made Steve turn back around. His eyes were huge and he looked at him like Bucky had just asked him to join Hydra.

“God, no, why would I want that?”

“I don’t know, but I just touched you and you jerked away as if I was putting a knife into your thigh…”, Bucky answered, suddenly feeling terribly uncertain.

“No, no, that’s… Look, that had nothing to do with you, I just-… I can’t talk about that. But please,” Steve reached out and took hold of Bucky’s metal hand, his grip tight. “don’t leave me.”

The last part was barely more than a whisper.

Bucky stroked his face with his other hand, carefully, just with the tip of two fingers. Steve closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. “I won’t leave, I promise. But, are you sure you can’t tell me what’s going on?”

Steve shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Steve didn’t really have an answer for that. Yes, why not? When has Bucky ever judged him for anything he liked, or laughed at him for telling him how he felt? He had never done that. But then again, this was different. This was not him telling Bucky he loved him or that he wanted to sleep with him or even that he wanted Bucky to choke him and call him daddy or do whatever else these kids seem to be into these days, this was… not at all what a grown up man should ever be thinking about. He had no idea how Bucky would react to that.

Although, didn’t he? Didn’t he _know_ that Bucky wouldn’t judge?

_Now or never._ “Can you do it again?”, Steve said, so quick it was barely understandable, but he knew if he didn’t do it right this second and without the chance to stop himself, he’d never dare to again.

Bucky blinked at him in confusion. “Do… what?”

Steve winced. Now he had to answer, now he couldn’t get out of this anymore.

He took a deep breath and gathered all his courage, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see the look in Bucky’s eyes when he told him about what he wished for.

“When we drove to Lauren, you put on that… that diaper on me. Can you do that again?”, he eventually said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

For a few torturous seconds, Bucky didn’t answer. He didn’t move, either. Steve could only hear him breathing, his eyes still closed.

And then, “Yeah, I can do that.”

Steve opened his eyes to look at Bucky in astonishment. Did he really just say that? Did he really just _agree_ to support Steve in his sick fantasies?

But there was not single sign of judgement on Bucky’s face, not a hint of the idea that he might think what Steve wanted was sick.

Sure, the confusion from earlier was still present in his eyes, but he was looking at Steve with such softness and understanding, even though Steve knew that it was pretty much impossible to actually _understand_ him with such little information, Steve immediately felt his tensed body, which has seemed to cramp up during their dialogue, relax again.

Bucky smiled. “I’m gonna go get the stuff.”, he said and patted Steve’s leg, before getting up and going into the bathroom once again.

He was back before Steve had been able to fully process that this was really happening.

So, when Bucky placed the diaper and powder next to him on the bed and looked at him expectantly, all Steve could do was stare back at him wide-eyed.

“Ready?”, Bucky asked after a second and grinned, as if he thought the look on Steve’s face was something to laugh at.

Steve blushed. This _was_ really happening.

When Steve still didn’t move to actually let Bucky do what he asked him to do, Bucky felt uncertain again. “Did you change your mind?”, he asked softly.

Steve shook his head. No, he wanted this.

Eventually, he managed to slip out from under his blanket again, and let Bucky guide him into his desired position, in the middle of the bed on his back.

Steve could feel his heartbeat speeding up again, and Bucky must’ve noticed his nervousness as well, because he stopped everything he was doing to lean down and cup Steve’s face, just to look at him for a second, before he moved to press his lips gently against Steve’s, who immediately reciprocated the touch.

“Everything’s fine, doll. You don’t have to be scared, it’s okay.”, he whispered against Steve’s skin, and then looked him with such an sincere look in his eyes, Steve believed him. This was okay.

Bucky undressed him with careful, cautious hands, giving Steve the opportunity to stop him anytime.

When Steve was naked from the waist down, Bucky stopped for a second to rub his thumbs against both his boyfriend’s hipbones, a gesture meant to reassure and calm down, since he could sense that this was stressing Steve out more than he was willing to show.

When he gently tapped his fingertips against the sides of Steve’s butt to make him lift up from the bed, Steve squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head to the side, as if he was trying to hide from Bucky’s eyes. His blush had spread from his face over his throat and down chest by now.

Steve looked so sweet, it made Bucky’s heart swell.

But he also felt sorry for his partner, for feeling so exposed and ashamed. He looked around to see if he could offer Steve anything to make him feel better, and eventually, his eyes found the edge of the blanket Steve was now laying on.

He reached out and grabbed it, guided it to Steve’s right hand that was lying next to his face and made Steve’s finger curl around it.

Steve seemed to know immediately what Bucky was trying to offer, because he quickly raised his hand towards his face, and used the soft material to hide his face in it.

Bucky couldn’t help but smile at the lovely sight in front of him.

After admiring Steve for a few seconds, Bucky resumed to preparing him.

Again, he tapped against his hip, and this time Steve willingly lifted himself off the bed, so Bucky could place the diaper underneath him in one swift motion.

Gently, he applied powder to the pelvis bone, the crack where Steve’s legs began, and eventually spread some on his penis and testicles as well.

When he rubbed it in with feather-light touch, he felt Steve’s member jerking to attention.

The other man winced. “I’m sorry, it’s not-“, but Bucky interrupted him right there.

“Shhh, it’s okay, I know. That happens sometimes.”, he said softly, and Steve let out a shaky breath and relaxed somewhat.

Trying not to spend more time than necessary on that part, Bucky quickly finished applying the powder and pulled the diaper into position, before he eventually closed it in the front.

Steve had his face still mostly hidden in the blanket, and if Bucky could see him closing and opening his lips around one finger’s knuckle again and again, he didn’t mention it.

For a moment, he just looked at Steve in admiration. This was probably one of the most beautiful, sweet and innocent things he would ever be allowed to see.

But he knew, he shouldn’t let Steve stay like that forever, still somewhat exposed and more than obviously still embarrassed about the whole situation.

So, unable to stop himself from doing this, he gently patted the front of Steve’s diaper to get his attention.

“All done.”, he said in a cheerful voice, and Steve slowly turned his head back so he was able to look at him.

The look in Steve’s eyes was raw and vulnerable. His cheeks were of a deep red, and he looked flushed. He gulped two, three times, before eventually speaking up.

“Thank you.”, he whispered, and Bucky smiled at him.

“Of course.”, he said and looked at his boyfriend for a moment longer, until he eventually took the powder and brought it back to the bathroom.

When he returned, he had actually expected Steve to already got dressed and lay down underneath the blanket again, so it surprised him to see that the other man was still lying on his back with his legs unclothed, both of his hands resting on his stomach with their fingers intertwined. His shanks were dangling off the bed.

“Hey pal, shouldn’t we get you dressed again?”, Bucky asked in a gentle voice, an attempt to not make Steve feel stupid for not having done so already.

Predictably, Steve’s blush deepened anyway. Hastily, he nodded and moved to quickly pull his sweats up again, but Bucky stopped him with a hand to his stomach, softly pressing him back down onto the bed.

“It’s okay, let me do that.”

Without much effort, he put Steve’s sweatpants on again, and held the blanket up for Steve to lay down underneath.

Then, he went and turned off the light, before lying down next to Steve.

He reached out with one arm, and immediately, Steve accepted the offer and cuddled up to Bucky’s side, one arm thrown over his torso, Bucky’s thigh caught between Steve’s legs.

He was able to feel the padding against his own pants.

He knew that Steve noticed that, too, because he felt the other man trying to squirm away from him again quickly, but Bucky was having none of that.

Instead, he just tightened the grip he had around Steve’s shoulder in order to make him stay right where he was, and after a second, Steve let out a deep breath and gave in, burying his face in the crook of Bucky’s neck, his warm breath dancing on Bucky’s skin.

Was it weird for them to lay there knowing they were both diapered? Yes, definitely.

Did it feel bad? No, not at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so, so much for reading!
> 
> Third fic, still not a native speaker - please have mercy!
> 
> Let me know what you think, should I concentrate more on the age play or on the smut in my next fic(s)?  
> Did this make sense?


End file.
